Grown Up Job? I might need to rethink this.

After a month of searching (2+ weeks of really hitting the market diligently and hard) I landed my first post grad, real live, grown up job.Well, sort of. It is at a company that has the potential to be really huge, and probably will be. I have A LOT of responsibility and trust put on me from the gate and many new tasks that I don't really know exactly how I am going to accomplish, which makes me very fidgety, sweaty, and stuttery (probably only really noticeable by me).

Here are my thoughts after Day 1:

• I keep trying to remind myself that I am totally qualified and capable of doing this job. I've done a lot of projects in school that I wasn't sure I would be able to pull off (i.e. writing a 30 - 50 page senior thesis, organizing an academic conference (3x), teaching and grading classes, going to London...) I always find a way to get through
• In the interview, they asked if I had plans to leave, move away or anything, and for the first time in my life I could say "No, I plan on staying put" confidently and comfortably without feeling like I was giving up or missing out on something. I've wanted to GO GO GO my whole life, but right now, I feel like being here is right where I need to be.
• I'm not an accountant, those have never been skills that have come easy to me. Nor am I a payroll or budgeting wiz kid, or even all that great with computers, so this job is surely going to come with some challenges. 
• I'm pretty much on my own here. The person I am replacing is training me then leaving, and the company owner is going to India for 5 months. It's just me, holding down a fort where I don't even know what structures are safe for leaning. I'm managing his business and personal affairs. Room for error here seems dauntingly large. 
• The company is just starting out, but it has a phenomenal growth potential and the owner is one of those guys you know just makes things happen. It is great to get on with a company in its fledgling stages, for sure, but who knows where it will go, how long it will take to get there, and what my role will even be.

I still have plans for my future that require a time commitment and those do have priority, but I am now officially stuck to this new job at least until the boss man gets back in the country (since it would be terrible form to leave him high and dry while there is nothing he can do about it). Not that I am thinking of leaving after the first day or anything... anyone who knows me well can attest that I am a fickle, fickle, soul. So maybe just the thought of being "tied" to this new position is freaking me out. Even if I don't have "plans" to leave, feeling like I can't if I wanted to is unnerving....

*sigh* guess I haven't grown up.

I'm really looking forward to stretching my wings in this new stage I am entering and seeing what comes of it, how I can grow and bring my skills to this new position. I feel like I can do some good here, and the environment seems conducive to creativity.

Until next rant.....